What would it look like if you truly believed you were loved?
It’s a question that I pondered this morning while getting ready to face yet another day.
What would it really look like?
I’ve “known” all my life that I’m loved - but that doesn’t mean that I act as if I truly believe it. I doubt. I judge. I struggle to accept. I run and hide. Because deep down, I wonder if it’s really true. Would they love me if they really knew me? Would that love disappear if I stripped away my carefully created facade and showed the world the bruises and scars underneath?
Some days, I really doubt it.
And it’s not just friends and family members whose love I question: no, it’s my savior’s as well. And I don’t think I’m alone in this.
We doubt His protection - that He truly wants the best. We feel that maybe he’ll listen on the good days. But on the days where it’s obvious just how short our efforts fall? Well, maybe on those days we’re left to fend for ourselves. And what other choice do we have? We are called to be perfect, just as our Father in heaven is perfect - and perfect? That’s something we’re not. We’re told of the greatness of God and his desire to shower gifts on his children, but this mentality quickly turns the all-powerful God into little more than a cosmic vending machine. And blessings? What about all the bad things that happen to those around for no reason at all? Where are the blessings then?
Yes, we could make excuses all day. But, at the end of the day, when all the excuses for doubting our savior’s love fall to the side - we are left with the realization that we doubt because it’s the easy thing to do. Coming face to face with the unconditional love of a perfect Father who delights in bestowing love on his children is a terrifying reality that rocks us to the core. We can do and have done nothing to deserve this love - but yet it was freely given over 2000 years ago as our savior shed his blood on the cross.
To know this love is to be in awe of it, swallowed in it, changed by it.
There is no room for passivity. There is no “Jesus Plus”
And so the question remains, what would it look like to live like you’re loved?
We can hold so tightly to our lives, our pride, our control, choosing to live in ruts, routines, and silly superstitions. As Rachel Platten so aptly put it, “We whisper little prayers to be somewhere that we’re not, and if we’re good, it’ll take us there.”
But maybe, just maybe, if for a second, we let that love sink in, we could begin to let go. We could stop our worrying about the little things (that feel like very big things) of this life that are quickly passing away. We could open up our hearts and lives to those around us - no longer afraid of losing love, knowing instead that we are found in heaven’s perfect love story.
Maybe for once we could just live - joyously free, careless in the arms of a careful father.